My best friend has a terrible gift for getting me sucked into shows that I somehow end up spending literally days watching from Episode 1 until I'm current. Right now, my real TV hasn't been turned on in 3 days and I'm on Season 4 of How I Met Your Mother. It's a sickness. Thank God for and Ipad and Netflix streaming/free 6 months of Hulu Plus - okay, the latter is thanks to Tivo....anyway. So it's 3:30am, I can't sleep, so I'm listing the top truths I've noted from How I Met Your Mother. These are truths I've experienced, or in some way relate to my life. There are other truths in the show, but these are the ones that pertain to me. Some are serious and some are funny, but all are accurate in my life. Enjoy.
Top 30 Truths from How I Met Your Mother (up through the early part of Season 4...):
Men in suits are awesome and a total turn-on for women.
Realizing you have feelings for a good friend and the subsequent decision on whether to act on it or not can honestly be one of the hardest decisions you ever have to make.
I really don't think I could marry someone who didn't like Star Wars...
When you finally crack, it's often the friend you least suspect that is there for you.
A guy who's really in love can say it with just his eyes.
Atlantic City...is not Vegas.
Making up stats...kind of makes you sound like a dumb ass.
You don't retell stories in perfect, sequential order.
It doesn't matter if you're a romantic or a pathological one-night-stander - both are people at the core when you break down their shell. Just depends on whether you use a tack hammer or a sledge hammer to get to that core.
You can be a 3rd friend in a relationship without being the 3rd wheel if the couple doesn't think of you as a 3rd wheel.
Proposing after only a few months is almost always a mistake.
Discuss food allergies with a significant other before you attempt to cook for them.
Guys who cook really are incredibly sexy.
You need good friends who will point out the "glass shattering" flaws your significant other has that you are blind to.
Poorly lit, blurry bar pictures from the past are some of the best pictures you can have.
Everything can go wrong at a wedding and it still be perfect.
New Years Eve rarely lives up to the hype.
Traditions are worth doing whatever it takes to maintain them.
Irish pubs really are the best.
Being nice to your waiters/waitresses is important. They're people too and can become part of your circle.
It's worth it to never give up searching for The One.
Slap Bets are possibly the greatest invention for settling a score. Ever.
Always pick 10 immediate slaps over 5 long term ones. (Didn't happen with slaps...but trust me, this is very real.)
Don't forget that friends really are family you just don't share a bloodline with.
When someone uses sarcasm and diverts their eyes when you ask them something serious, they're probably terrified of telling you the truth.
If a guy spends time alone with you and is acting completely abnormal, he's probably terrified because he has feelings for you.
Britney Speares guest starring on sitcoms only reminds you that Britney Speares is trying an ill-fated comback by doing a very poor acting job as a guest star on sitcoms.
Going to KU makes you realize that March Madness brackets really do translate to "March Meticulously-Thought-Outness"
Don't forget to make time for the passion the younger you swore a real job would only be there to support.
I'm an American. I have mixed ancestry from English to German to Irish to Native American. I'm white. I'm a college graduate. I'm part of a family of 6 and a family of 2. I've been a child through 2 divorces. I have a little extra room in my finances. I don't have hardly any credit card debt - and none I couldn't pay off today if I wanted. I have my own car. I fly to different parts of the country at least twice a year. I pay for my own gas. I plan on being wealthy when I "grow up". Am I considered the 1%? It seems like I am.
I consider myself an Independent, politically, I'd like to state that before I begin because what I'm writing may seem bent on the Republican side. I'm in the middle for most things - I've taken several online "Which Political party are you in" polls to verify that I'm not just believing this. I really am right down the middle. I think what I'm writing is from the vantage point of an AMERICAN. Not a political party member, but an AMERICAN. One who believes in the American Dream.
I feel a wonderful sense of pride about the Occupy Wallstreet protest. On the surface, some of the things they are doing is great - they're working to start a conversation and I think that's something that's key to helping our country. I think their determination is the epitamy of American rebellion. We were built on a rebellion. I always feel so American when a rebellion is going on - even if I agree with what they're rebelling against or not. I love that I live in a country where people CAN rebel and not die because of it. I appreciate their efforts, but the stigma that people who are just slightly above middle class and higher are getting is very hard for me to agree with.
The idea that anyone that makes $100,000 or more a year is lumped in (mentally at least) with CEOs raking in 100 MILLION dollars a year...really aggravates me. It's not the same. Taxes are brutal for those making $150,000 or more a year. And while many people scoff, saying they should have to pay that...consider a family of 5 with three kids in college. The AVERAGE tax for a family head at $100,000 is 20-25%. Okay. So let's take $20,000 off - not counting all the other fun little taxes you get hit with. Just that takes you down to $80,000 a year. Now. Consider college. Currently an in-state school with room and board, a normal full time student is $18,000 in my state. That's $54,000 a year. Suddenly that $100,000 has become $26,000 a year for parents to pay a mortgage, food, clothing and everything else. Yet, when you hear someone say, "I make 6 figures" most people lump them in with people buying boats and going to the yacht club on the weekends.
This is where the dissonance lies.
I believe in the American Dream and frankly I don't feel even remotely guilty for planning on an income of at LEAST $300,000 a year. That's the minimum I want to make. I'm in graduate school, paying for it myself and get help from my parents with some of my other costs. Still, I pay for my extra years of school, I pay for food, rent, clothes...all that. I pay for it because I work for it. I've never thought the government needed to pull money from those who built companies from nothing or who worked to get an MBA and worked up the latter (social or company) to get where they are to support me. I can support myself. I should support myself. I've never learned anything from something that was handed to me. I've learned everything from things I've worked for. My parents worked hard, have a minimum of a 4-year degree each because they WANT to help me and my siblings get a great start in life. I plan on doing the same for my children. I don't plan on teaching my kids that the government is to blame for my issues or that these evil CEOs are sucking my money. No...it's the 55" TV you bought on credit two years ago that's sucking your money at 15% interest rate...an interest rate you KNEW was there. And you don't get the blame the credit card company for that interest rate when it's what you KNOWINGLY signed up for if you took the 10 minutes you should to actually read a financial contract before you sign it. I can't stand that people max out credit cards, then two years later cry on camera to the news about how the "credit companies are getting them" because their debt is now outrageous. Guess what...don't get the card in the first place if you can't afford it. Not rocket science.
Do I shop at Macy's, Dillards, Abercromie? No. I get a few staple pieces at places with amazing sales, like NY&Co because I plan on being high profile, so I have started dressing nicer to get used to it. I pay for gas and don't make a lot of trips and carpool with my roommate for basic errands so I don't fuel up as much. I bought a nail care system and spent an evening watching Youtube to LEARN the skills I needed so I don't need to go to the salon but maybe once a year as a treat. I get my hair cut at normal places, not high end salons when I just need a trim. I MADE myself install my car stereo on my own so I know how to do it rather than pay an installer for something I was perfectly capable of doing. I do this because I'm working for what I have and I realize the power of the dollars I earn. I gave up a lot of 4th of Julys, Christmas Eves and other holidays to work retail to sustain myself.
I just wanted to post this to put some things in perspective. There are things I want, but don't have...because there's not room in my budget for them at the moment. That's what saving is for. Rather than buying it on credit now and letting it build in interest for the next few years when I finally get enough to pay it off (and by that time have paid for it twice over) I make do with what I can afford. I bought an ipad because I saved money from extra hours at work, christmas money and birthday money for 6 months. I bought myself a coach purse, on ebay where I got it 1/2 price. I don't understand why that seems so very complicated and how people see that as the government's problem when they don't follow basic logic.
I know the job market is horrible right now, that is difficult. I'm also a victim of corporate "needs" coming before employees when I made only a $1 raise in 4 years of working retail. I get it. But it's reality of our situation that overspending and greed - on the part of EVERY DAY PEOPLE - has caused...not only the government. Yes, the bailout money going to CEOs who quit the next day...I almost took went down to Wallstreet myself...but that was 3 years ago. We made a mistake not putting in stipulations and the smart thing to do would have been to learn from it. To go "OOPS" and reboot. It should have put people's spending in check...instead, people blamed the credit card companies who had "variable interest rates." I'm sorry, you should have read the fine print and educated yourself on what you were getting in to. I think it's very unfair that mortgage companies jacked interest rates to 25% or more, I honestly do...but I'm also smart enough to know that can happen and wouldn't have allowed myself that risk in the first place. Understand why I have such an issue with it?
I get wanting things now, but having the same people trampling others get great deals on Black Friday, then going on to talk about Corporate greed is such a discord in my head. You're fueling the greed you're talking about. I participate in Black Friday...but I save up all year for it. I don't max out credit cards to get things. I don't sign up for credit cards with a 20%+ interest rate if I plan on keeping a balance on it. I get the free crap for using the cards (points, cashback), but don't give them any interest money because I pay it off by ONLY spending what I can afford to spend.
That is my American Dream. Working hard so I can have the things I want by paying for it with money I EARN. Not money I expect to get from the government or breaks I expect because I want everything NOW. One shining stat of hope is that 65% of credit card users under the age of 35 pay off their credit balance monthly - meaning they don't carry a balance. That is staggeringly high compared to the over 35 year counter parts.
I just want to say that I'm not ashamed for wanting to make in the 6 figures to support myself. I'm working on a graduate degree and working at the same time to do it. I won't apologize for it. I refuse to feel bad for driving a nice car, having a nice house and paying for my kids' college in a few years because I earned it by working. That's my American Dream and I'm not ashamed of it. What's yours?
Live, Laugh and Above All...Love.
An essential part of being a better person and taking care of yourself as a whole...is taking care of your body. We all have stresses in life that build up, but "spa days" and manicures are always extra things, things you make appointments for, etc. But I've found that doing them at home, on a much more regular basis has helped me be more relaxed, feel more beautiful and just more put together. So, as promised, I'm sharing my "Dollar Store Spa" with you guys. Not everything is found at the Dollar Store, but if it's not, you can find it for around a dollar at the grocery store. I also have some "Extras" that are more than a dollar that are ways to make your spa even more fantastic.
Note: Depending on your time and frequency desire, you can do all of these steps together, or do them independently. For example, I may only do a manicure once a week, but I'll sometimes do the bath 2-3 times a week. Each step is independent, but together make for a very nice day!
Manicure/Pedicure:
At-home manicures are so easy, it's ridiculous. Doing your nails frequently not only makes you feel good, it can really set you apart at interviews, events, etc. Simply put - you look more together when your nails are done. Even for men, doing the manicure and skipping the polish part makes you look more professional.
I got the steps for this manicure on youtube. I'm posting the link, so you can watch it instead of me posting a ton of detailed steps that are more interesting to watch. I'll post the basic steps. I highly recommend the Cuticle-Away. It makes removing your cuticle a lot easier, but you don't have to have it. If you don't want to get it, just use the orange wood stick and cuticle clippers.
STEPS:
Fill 2 glass bowls with a drop of soap and hot/warm water. Soak hands for 2-3 minutes, then pat dry.
Apply Cuticle-Away and wait 45 seconds.
Using the orange wood stick, run it along your cuticles and you'll see build up come off. That's your dead cuticles. Push - lightly - the top cuticle back as well. After that, clip the cuticle using the cuticle clippers.
Rinse in bowls and pat dry.
Take Chap-stick and rub it on your cuticles. Rub it in.
File nails starting on the edges of nails and work in. File nails to round them. Clip if necessary.
Wipe nail dust off using the hand cloth with a corner dipped in water.
Apply lotion and rub into hands and massage your skin.
Apply nail polish according to the video tutorial. Watch the second video on how to CLEAN your cuticles if you accidentally flood them to make it look best. It's easy - take a fine tipped paint brush, dip in acetone and wipe in cuticles to clean. Makes it look so much more professional.
Bath Spa
This bath spa is amazingly rejuvenating. It's perfect on a hard day and some of the things I use in the shower daily (the salt scrub). It has made my skin so much softer and fresh. This is VERY MUCH about setting the mood. 90% of this is mental - you have to get your mind at ease. So don't scoff at the little things, they make a difference. There's a lot of stuff on the list, but once you have it, it'll all last a pretty long time.
Items you'll need that should be on hand:
Comfortable PJs (on hand)
Robe (on hand)
Wash cloth (on hand)
Plush Towel (on hand)
Thick socks (on hand)
Ipod (on hand)
My playlist: "Nowhere Warm - Kate Havnevik," "Beth - Glee," "Amber - Afro Celt System," "Breathe - Anna Nalick," "The Light - Sara Barellis," "Catalyst (Acoustic) - Anna Nalick," "Somewhere Only We Know - Keane," Selections from Enya
Make the bath scrub by pouring 1/4 the bowl full of regular epsom salt, 1/4 with the Eculyptus scented salt, 1/8 with the Sea Salt, and 1 packet of the oatmeal soak, then pour Olive Oil in a bit at a time and mix until it clumps together. You can add more oil if you want it to be more "oily" but don't make it so it's soupy. You want it dry-ish so you can scoop it. Mix in essential oils to make it smell good. You can also add some lemon juice or peppermint extract too. Put the bath scrub in the air tight jar. Sometimes I also add some heated up honey. Just play around and see what you like.
The Bath Setting
Start by making up your bath scrub and scoop a few spoonfuls into one of the 4" glass bowls and place it on the edge of the bathtub. Do the same with the bath brush and clay mask if you have them. Mix some baking soda and epsom salt and put them in a pretty bottle. Get your candles and a lighter. Get your robe, fresh PJs and clean your bathroom a little if necessary. Fold your PJs and set them on the counter. Hang your robe on the inside of the door, somewhere close. Set the plush towel, folded, near the bath. Put the folded socks beside your PJs. Place the candles in various parts of the bathroom - enough to light up your bath area, leaving 4 tea lights out. Set up your music, ready to just hit play.
Preparing The Bath
If you decide you want a bubble bath, the Walmart brand Honey & Milk one I suggested is fantastic. It makes the bath feel soft and has just a very, very subtle, clean scent. Start the warm-hot water and pour in a generous amount of the bubble bath. As the bath starts to fill, take the baking soda and epsom salt mixture in the pretty bottle and shake it over your bath a few times. Toss in 2-3 bath bombs if you have them. Take a few deep breaths while you're doing this. Blow up the bath pillow and put it in place. Go and light your candles, placing 3-4 tea lights (after you light them) in the water (this doesn't work well with a bubble bath, so skip if you use the bubble bath). If you have some fresh flowers, let them float in the water as well. Set out the lotion and a fresh wash cloth by the bath. Let the bath fill, then turn off the lights and leave the room for 2 minutes.
The Bath
Time to enjoy! Open the door and the dark, candle-lit room is ready for you. Press play on your ipod, then undress, leaving your clothes away from the bath to not clutter the space. Put your hair up if you wish. Slowly let yourself drift into the bath (be careful if you have candles in them). Take the candles out one by one, taking a moment to think of something in your life you're thankful for, then blow them out and set them aside. Let yourself lay back and relax for a moment.
After you've relaxed, sit up and apply the bath scrub by rubbing it all over your arms, legs, chest and neck first. Don't rinse off. Take some more scrub and massage/apply to your feet. Massage as you desire. Let your legs and feet sink into the tub, not attempting to rub off the scrub, it will melt away. Next do your face. Massage the scrub into your face and neck. Finally, apply the scrub to your hands and massage as you lay back. Lay and relax with the scrub resting on as much of your skin as is exposed for 2 songs. Afterward, rinse lightly with water.
If you have a face mask, apply it, and leave it on the desired amount of time while you lay back and listen to the music. If you aren't using a mask, take the Lavender soap, make it foam in your hands, and apply to your face, then lay back and relax for 2 more songs. Rinse.
Remain in bath as desired, then lift yourself out and take the towel and pat dry. Your skin will feel oily, that's okay. The oil will soak in. The longer you stay in the bath, the more it will soak in with the heat of the bath surrounding it. Put on your thick robe. Breathe in and out for 1 minute, focusing on the good in your life. Take the lotion and rub it on your arms, neck, chest, feet and legs. Massage into hands and feet for an entire song. Put on your fresh PJs and the thick socks to hold in the moisture.
Final step: go to the sink and brush your teeth slowly as normal. Turn on the lights, blow out the candles, turn off the music and drain the bath - then go lay down and read or just relax for 20 minutes. This will let you relax, let the oils sink in and your mind continue to rest.
Moisture Me Up
This is a step for your body and hair to be extra moisturized and luxiourious.
Items needed (extra from bath section):
Good, thick conditioner (on hand or at Dollar Tree - Suave)
Shower cap (Dollar Tree)
After the bath and you've relaxed for 20 minutes, re-apply lotion. Take the chap stick and reapply it to your cuticles, massaging them in.
Wait another twenty minutes, then run a hot shower and wet your hair, ringing it out so it's damp, but not soaking wet. Without applying shampoo, get your best conditioner and apply it to your hair WITHOUT RINSING. Grab the shower cap and put your hair up inside it. Get out of the bath and go about your night. Leave your hair up, with conditioner in the cap as long as you can - I sleep in mine. If you sleep in it, put a towel on your pillow. Rinse the next morning, apply a LITTLE shampoo to scalp and rinse. Your hair will be rehydrated and silky! If you notice that hardly any conditioner seems to be left, you may want to repeat because your hair soaked it up. If there's a lot left, your hair is probably pretty moisturized already.
I hope you've enjoyed my easy, awesome at-home Dollar Store Spa!! I hope you take time to take care of yourself as I have. It's restorative and amazing!! I hope you all take the time to take care of yourselves. Post and let me know what you've tried!!
Silence is something I've noticed a lot of lately. Not necessarily a bad thing, but when you have silence constantly around you, there are things you begin to notice more. You notice the clicking of the clock on the window sill, you notice the times that cars tend to go past more frequently, you notice that motorcycles make more of a presence than cars as they sweep past...and you notice how people come and go just beyond your door. I think silence is a great equalizer in thought. It makes people see the world more like I do all the time. It makes people notice more. Most people disregard little things all the time, they focus on the world just in front of them. It's evolutionary beneficial for our species to do so. Those who were able to set on the task at hand - ie: hunting - were more likely to survive. For a caveman to get distracted by a pretty bird as an animal was on their trail....well, those people don't exist anymore. Anyway, I think I got a dormant gene, and not an ADD type...but I see the world with another level than most people. I see things I don't think others see. I notice more. It's not always a positive...actually, it's a very lonely type of experience...and it's one that doesn't help in school. I got in so much trouble in elementary school for "skipping words" because my mind moved too fast for my hand. I used to skip entire sentences at times. Thank God I live in the generation of computers....my typing can keep up with my brain far better than my hand can.
I see the world like a writer. May not sound that different, but writers are a unique breed...real writers. Those of us who can't escape what many consider a gift. Yes, I consider my skill with words a gift...but it's not always a burden I like. Having characters in your head, seeing every day life literally in the form of another story and experiencing emotions that aren't yours...that isn't always pleasant. It happens so I can write it, so I can record part of the human experience. I don't know that I do it justice by any means, but something beyond the physical feels I need to be at least a mediocre medium for experiences turned into everlasting text. Words survive. Feelings, moments, life, it flies past...but words survive. I love words. I love writing more than almost anything else on this planet. It's a part of who I am. I'm me when I can write. I experience life so that I can write and because it makes me feel like a more whole person. It makes me more complete to experience - the good and the bad. Probably why I didn't make a very good, devout religious follower. I don't believe in maintaining a "moral" life in regard to preventing experiences. I believe in being a MORAL, good person...an honest person, but I don't believe in limiting my experiences on this Earth. I don't think any divine being who put us here would want that. I think we're here to experience. And I believe I'm here to experience and record that experience.
I'm not a religious person. I'm a spiritual person, but I'm not religious. I question my beliefs constantly. I believe that by questioning my beliefs, having others question my beliefs and present their own to me is the only way I discover what I really believe. That's why I find religion so interesting. I want to learn what motivations people have for living the way they do. I don't know what it is that guides me when I write - a muse, a collective thought-process, a beam of energy - but something does. How do I explain it? Maybe it is just the way my brain is wired. Maybe I was just born to notice more. To feel more. I love people that I'm not even that close to more deeply than most people can understand. People don't understand why I get so invested. Even I don't really know why I do. But I meet a stranger at work and I become invested just because I sold them a sound system and talked to them for an hour. I care about their anniversary and send them a card (from work, not personal - not a creeper...well...not always). I remember people I meet at parties. I remember the lady at McDonalds who told me she just found out she had breast cancer. I remember to call waiters by their names. I just build these connections that I crave. I need connections. Connections teach me so much and feel like they make me more complete. It's a weird sensation, but for me, I feel a rush like most people only feel with their close family or friends.
The sad part is that I get invested...so when those connections break - which naturally they do at times - I feel it very deeply. The same goes for my writing. For those of you who have read anything I've written, you've read my feelings. I don't just get the ideas for stories, I feel the stories. Every time characters kiss, I feel the rush of adrenaline as I write the words. I feel the sensation of bricks on their backs as they make out in the alley. Every time I write a scene where someone is crying, I've cried at one point or another because of it. I feel their pain. I hold the emotions of dozens in me, because I'm a writer. I can't escape it. I can't escape that my mind doesn't want to stop - full of things I notice in the world - at night when I just want to fall asleep. Honestly, I don't know that I'd want it to stop. I can't imagine who I'd be without writing. It's like breathing for me. It's something I can't even imagine my life without. Words give me life and they give me a purpose. I'm here to record life as I see it. I'm here to try to relay the ten levels of symbolism I see in a commercial to people who don't even notice the main actor.
A lot of things I've learned to put aside, not think about. But it's a forced, learned behavior. I can't be a philosopher all the time. Socially, that's not exactly the best trait. I've learned that the hard way. Those of you who drink with me know she comes out more intensely when I drink...but what can I say, I can't stop it in those moments. ;) What I want to get through in this post is the way that writers see the world. For people like me, it's more than just the world, it's levels. It's understanding metaphors, seeing a beautiful scene full of meaning and texture when you look down a downtown street lit for the holidays....it's noticing the couple sitting on the stairs with eyes just for each other. It's connections and seeing meaning in everything. When you walk on campus or to work...take out the headphones, or at least look around. Stop getting lost in your to-do list and walk a minute in my shoes. See the people who pass you, think about their stories. Think about where they come from - because that's what I do. I wonder. I see. I feel. I see my characters in the streets as I walk. I imagine scenes from my books playing out like movies in the trees beside me. Just feel, breathe and experience. Trust me, it'll open your eyes to a world that didn't even know was there.
